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Mini Me Mod


jinyu
Age. 37
Gender. Female
Ethnicity.
Location Denver, CO
School. Other
» More info.
Sprocket's Training Milestones
Came home (Aug 2, 2014)
Asked to go outside (Aug 5, 2014)
Slept 4 hours straight (night) (Aug 5-6, 2014)
Crane Count
7/3/13 - 8
7/4/13 - 30
7/5/13 - 36
7/10/13 - 54
7/11/13 - 57
7/18/13 - 67
2/17/14 - 83
(cumulative)
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Moon Mod!
CURRENT MOON
To Read:
- Carrie
- Dream of the Red Chamber
- Time to Kill
- Scent of the Missing
- Stiff
Nano mod!
I Miss Korea
Sunday. 8.30.15 9:50 pm
It was night, after work, and I was feeling a whole new kind of terrible. Stomach ailments had never really been a thing for me back when I was a kid, but now that I was in a foreign country, eating foreign food, everything I ate seemed to repeat. I wandered in, blanched and pale. I had been referred there by one of my coworkers, although I can’t remember which one. I asked them if they had anything for my stomach and the woman recommended her Ginger Root Yuk. I sat in the corner of their little shop and I ate it.
It was warm, it was fragrant, and as it dripped down my esophagus, it was like a salve, seeping into some wound deep inside of me. When I had finished with it, the people at the restaurant insisted that I not pay. I can’t quite think why, I know I had the money, but I think they were determined to take care of me. I went there a lot after that. I miss Korea.

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Love Is...
Monday. 5.18.15 1:14 am
I am reading a great book called "The Buried Giant". It is another book out by Kazuo Ishiguro, the man who wrote "Never Let Me Go". In this story, like in Never Let Me Go, he explores this idea: If you were to prove that you loved someone, if your life or your time together depended on it, how would you go about proving it. To this end, he follows an elderly couple, a couple who, by a trick of magic or fate, have lost all their memories of their time together, however, it is through their fondest memories that they are supposed to determine wether or not they are in love.

It is so beautiful it makes me tear up listening to it. It is beautiful, because even without their memories, you can tell that they love each other, or tell at least that the man Axel adores his "princess" Beatrice. He worries after her aches and pains, worries that he doesn't make her angry or upset, not because he is afraid of her, because I have dated men like this, but because she is so precious to him that he cannot bear the thought of her being in pain.

Then, I went on a date.

Is it... something that takes time, feeling that way? Or should you feel it? Is it wrong to say "yes" to date two without it? Do I love? Or am I just afraid of being alone? I am the second, but am I just? Oh, heavy head, I am heading to rest now. Maybe it'll all be much clearer in the morning.

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Hot beverages
Tuesday. 5.5.15 10:36 pm
Be it extremely emotional, controversial, messed up, or whatever, this entry has been password protected.

If you know it, enter it; or, ask me for it.

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Downsizing
Wednesday. 2.4.15 11:50 pm
So, I'm getting rid of a lot of my stuff. Funnily, I hadn't realized that my last post was about pretty much the same thing! Tiny house here I come ;)

When you decide to get rid of most of the stuff you have in order to move into a smaller space permanently, you learn a lot of things about yourself. Some of the things I've learned include:

- I have (had?) waaaay too much stuff
- Free isn't free.
- Creating a thing is sometimes the purpose of it
- I love to paint and draw (and am, surprisingly, not too bad at it!)
- I want to write more letters to people
- Gift cards are amazing

I also learned something about stuff and about people that I never realized before. Being wasteful is as much about taking on too much as it is about not making time or room for something. If you have one hundred pencils, you won't miss one, but you won't take care of it either. If you have a hundred acquaintances that you have to invite to every thing and address equally in everything, you won't miss them like you should and you won't take care of them either.

You see, I've always had this feeling with people that if you're going to let someone in, you have to let everyone in. I never wanted to be cliquey or close-minded. I wanted to make everyone I knew, everyone I met feel accepted and wanted. I still feel that way, for the most part. But as I go through my things, I'm kind of facing something that I never realized I bought into. That is, I don't have to feel guilty about not being the perfect match for everybody. I shouldn't feel guilty about having limits on what I take and what I put up with, and most of all, I can't let people I don't even like take up time and energy in my life. Because, if I let them do that, I can't really have the energy for the people I do care about.

Is that hokey? It sounds hokey, but it's kind of true. I don't even know how to do it, really. I guess it's just a matter of not taking on what I can't carry.

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Reasons I Would Want a Tiny Home
Friday. 1.2.15 11:10 pm
1.) I've always dreamed of building a custom home. (I mean really. I was drawing floor plans when I was like... six.)
2.) I've always wanted land.
3.) All that is freaking expensive.

EXCEPT! If you miniaturize everything, it starts to become affordable!

But that's... like forever off.

:( Freaking rental market.

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A Poem and Sprocket
Saturday. 11.22.14 10:55 pm
I am waiting for the sun to spread its fingers upon the ground
And warm the seeds inside my heart, to sing a special sound
To make the seed peel back its walls, in pale green tendril flare
To live to thrive, to be alive to grow and to be there

It is winter.
My seeds are waiting.
It does not matter the number
For in the winter the seeds I plant shall- slumber

There is a group of people out there who think it is silly, sick even, the way that people love their dogs. Even trainers will warn you against the anthropomorphizing of your pet, how this humanization will distract you from the true nature of your pet. They say that dogs feel differently than we do, think differently, respond differently, but I don't think so at all.

I spoke with SmarterChild online when I was younger and I have asked Siri questions. Sprocket is not like those thing. Neither is he much like the fish, mice or plants that I have had. Sprocket has a connection with the human experience that is more profound than any of those things.

Right now, he sits at my feet and he is dreaming. He is dreaming a good dream now, but when he dreams an upsetting dream, I can tell by his twitching and his whining. I tell him, "Your a good boy" and his little blue eyes flicker open and he smiles at me.

Sprocket has friends, and not just canine ones, although that is remarkable enough. There are people in his life who, beyond any judgement that I place upon them, become a part of our lives. They know Sprocket's name, even if they don't know mine , and they speak to him and have their own relationship with him. He has his favorite dogs, too. His best friend is a golden retriever from doggie daycare. He is scared of a husky from the dog park. He beats up on an overlarge bull terrier mix, but only when everyone else is doing it. When I correct him, he sometimes listens, sometimes blows me off, and sometimes whines, barks and gives me dirty looks in response.

Sprocket likes treats, other dogs, other people, and being in the same room as you as often as possible. He does not like baths, magpies and overzealous labs. He is stone cold afraid of coyotes and will go nuts when he can so much as smell one. He doesn't mind being picked up, but only sometimes and only when he's not trying to do something else. And, in his own bizarre way, he really does love me.

I don't really think there is anything strange about the love we have for our dogs. People talk about them being replacement babies, replacement friends, replacements for significant others, but I think their pathologizing is empty. They don't really 'replace' anything. They are, simply, souls born into the bodies of dogs. Sleep well, Sprocket.

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