Project "Get out there and meet people so you can fall in love one day" is currently... completely unsucessful. Project "Be bright and cheerie" and "Parking Karma" were, actually, a big sucess! "Bright and Cheerie" is giving me the motivation to get my homework done, go to the gym and make friends with my classmates! Parking Karma (in which I move my character every once in a while with the expectation that I will get better and better spots) has yielded me a spot right in front of Hill hall three times already and great spots besides that. I guess that's a little why I feel uncertain about the "Get out there project". The uncertainty may also have to do with the fact that the speaker tonight scared the living daylights out of me and I keep on thinking about burying Ouji boards and how I don't see how that's a way to get rid of them since they'll still be in the ground! Bleeeggghhhh.

Well, "get out there" mission 1# was going to college republicans. I thought to myself, "Self, you'll meet some standup guys there. Besides, you can start getting involved in politics." So I geared myself up for it. I waited impatiently in my dorm room, go over there and! They weren't there. CR meets from 5:30-7:00... I just thought it said 7. Well... I thought, persistence and preserverance, I'll just hang out with these cats in the gardens. They seem to be having fun, and the guy is playing some neat music, so long as you don't get too close to the speakers. So, I sit there and this guy comes up and is like "Do you have your ID". I pause. I was getting a negative vibe from him, like "you're in the wrong place, lady." But I thought, well, I couldn't really be doing anything wrong right? So I said, "sure I do!" and I pulled out my campus ID and showed it to him. I thought, well, he probably just needs to know I'm a student. No. He didn't. He rolls his eyes at me and he says, "No, like a driver's liscense?" and I was like, "Oh... so this is an over 21 kind of thing." and he said "Yeah" I think he could see the utter deflation in my face. I JUST wanted to sit there after all, so he gives me a hopeful look and says, "Hey, you could sit out there." Well, I felt pretty shot down, but I go over there and sit anyway. And then... well the song ended and my feeling shot down just drove me out of the door.

"Get out there" mission #2 was the one tonight. Friday night fever was holding a thing for this ghost hunter lady and I thought, "Hey, I'm writing a horror novel! Maybe I can take notes and run into people there." The thing was, though is that the thing is at 9:00. Luckily, I had anime club before then, so I decided to go to that first. So I dress myself all pretty like with my hair in a headband and my new black sweatshirt I bought for my costume for tommorow's swing dance and my lids done in the way I read in the magazine and I was really psyched for this whole ghost lady fiasco. So I walk into anime club and I get a lot of waves and 'hi's' and excess nods and a 'did you put on your contacts today?' and I was like "Cool!". So that was fun. We watched anime and we watched Lain... which is scary. She's this messiah of the computer world and her room is being turned into this living machine thing and she keeps on having people talk to her... it's a nightmare. So anyway, I was like, "Well, this'll be okay, because then I'll get to go to my thing." So I go straight from Anime club to the paranormal lady, unwittingly towing an anime club member with me. So they introduce her and then they play this freaky video and then she starts talking about how many people think they might have seen ghosts (a lot) and how many people have current hauntings (a... lot more than I expected!!) and then how Ouji boards are doorways to evil things and blah, blah, blah. And you know what, about this time I'm started to get sick. I'm starting to think about the Ouji board my mom told me that we shouldn't buy for my sleepover like.. 6 years ago that we bought anyway that is still sitting in the cupboard with the creepy roundhouse boxing guys who scream randomly if you leave them off their stands. And I'm like, "OH NO! I've opened up a doorway in the abyss" and she's all chatting along about how her husband died a little time ago and it was sooo beautiful and he's always with her and I can kind of feel my stomach to flip-flops like the time my family was talking about 'what it would be like' after you died at Fazolvi's and I went into the bathroom and threw up my entire lunch. So I was like, F this. And I got up, walked out of the room and stood outside for a moment. Right about then, I REALLY wanted my anime buddy to come out with me, but he probably thought I just went to the bathroom. It wasn't like I stormed out or anything after all: I wanted to be polite. So I go downstairs and I get on the computer because I don't want to walk home alone in the dark and I watch my fish tank and wonder why the hell I was ever interested in the werewolves application anyway and why I ever went to see that lady. WHY DID I GO AND SEE THAT LADY!

I was just thinking, "Hey, you know what, this is a topic that interests me and you know all that worrying stuff, that's just my social anxiety talking. I've got to ignore it if I'm ever going to talk about it." Well no, it's the whole SPECTROphobia that's got me down on this one. You'd think that after all these years that I'd stop being afraid of ghosts, that I'd stop believing in ghosts!

Well, my friend finally came down later. Apparently he was scared, too. So I waited for him and we walked home together and talked about how we were going to be so scared that night in as joking a manner as we could. The first thing I wanted to do was call my parents, ironically enough. Luckily my attempts were thwarted by the fact that I can't find my phone right now (it's not lost, it's just gone to hide somewhere. Who knows, maybe the ghosts are hiding it, blegh) So yeah. I guess there was stuff I wanted to ask her about and stuff. I mean she does have a lot of 'experience' with ghosts, I don't know how much of that stuff you all believe, but I just couldn't handle it. I'm such a wimp.

So, attempt #2 was thwarted. Luckily though, I have an attempt #3 already planned. Swing club is having a swing dance tommorow night. I bought those ears that I talked about and I figured out how to do my hair tonight, so I've got a whole outfit free lessons before and no partners required! I don't know how many guys would show up to something like that, but it's worth a shot, right? If nothing else, I might meet some new girlfriends or get myself back into swing club. Then I can also stand and clap for the costume contest winners and it won't be scary at all! I won't have some lady who starts out her speech, "I love all you people and this place is haunted." The UNION is NOT haunted, DANGIT! It feels pretty empty at night, but then again, it's not a place that's meant to be empty. So... I'll probably stay up waaay to late tonight to avoid the inevitable nightmares. There will be ghosts, no doubt, that tell ask me to do something for them and then I'll wake up in a panic looking around my room saying to myself "It's the ghost lady, the BLASTED #@$#@ing GHOST LADY!" So, presistence and patience. Wish me better luck for the dance tommorow :(

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